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The Good, the Bad and the Are-You-Kidding-Me?
Filed in Book Covers , The Geeky Lover , The HEA Lover Posted on March 14, 2011 @ 2:00 pm
25 comments
This week we decided to let our snarky-self free (not like we’re usually nice or anything *wink*) and give you the worst of German and French vampire book covers. Ok so maybe they aren’t the worst but they wouldn’t make us pick up the books. This selection left us a bit frustrated. This week we’re not fighting for best covers but Worst covers! Help us decide which country wins (or in this case loses lol because there’s no winning with such uglies)
Caroline’s Selection:
Caroline: The Kerrelyn Sparks cover is just plain scary. That guy looks like a crazy psycho and I can’t stare too long of I’ll end up with nightmares. I haven’t read the book, so maybe it fits the story but *shudders*…he looks like he’s a demon. By the way the French titles means something like ‘Good Kisses from the vampire’.
The cover of Evernight is just ugly. It all looks so fake. The girls’s face looks fake (Eyebrows and hair O_o) , the blood like a bad photoshop. The font is plain. Seriously I wouldn’t pick this book if I saw it. Not that the original cover is good but it’s better than this. o_O
Vampire City, is actually Glass House by Rachel Caine. I can’t say I wouldn’t pick it up because I DID lol. I saw it in my bookstore a few months ago and had to pick it up to see what it was. Mostly because I saw the author’s name *wink* It’s not that it’s bad…it’s just that It doesn’t make me think of any characters in the series. It’s a pretty bland cover IMO.
The next book is Jessica’s Guide to Dating on the Dark Side by Beth Fantaskey. Now this is a frustrating cover. For once, the original cover was SO pretty. I really liked it. This cover is both gross and bland. It plays on the Twilight cover trend. You wouldn’t believe how many french translations have a rose/blood/hand combination on the cover. Also the french title means, ‘How to get rid of a vampire in love’. O_o And last, the black font on white is just not pretty. *sigh*
The last cover is the cover of Blue Blood. If you look at it closely, it’s not THAT bad. But each time I see it on a website it looks like the woman’s eyes are weird. It’s the make-up I know but it looks weird. Let’s just say that I find it disturbing. Otherwise it’s …not that bad *sigh* This selection left me completely frustrated with cover 😉
Susi: I completely agree about that guy being scary. what were they thinking. Should that be the hero? If yes France can keep him. LOL
And LOL so happy I’m not the only who thought WTF, are those eyebrows when seeing the Evernight cover. I usually love red but this shade is all so wrong and doesn’t really fit the blue flower. *shudders*
The Rachel Caine cover is totally weird. I’m actually wondering if teens like that kind of boy? Yes he looks like a bad guy but also for me he looks like a rich kid too full of himself. And he seems to be enjoying the sun too much for a vampire. And I don’t like the font and the plain white. It just all seems to be too off. It doesn’t seem to be a complete cover. Meh.
So I always thought this Beth Fantaskey book was Young Adult. So why are that such old hands. Can you see the wrinkles? Shouldn’t a hand-model have pretty hands? And the blood blots are weird and yes I agree the flower Twilight thing is annoying- we have tons of those too. Very creative.
And the last one: I really like violet but I think violet and a blond girl aren’t the perfect combination. She shouldn’t wear violet eyeshadow- makes her eyes pop out even more. And what happened top her hair? Me not likey. But I like the title plate. Looks nice.
Caroline: *squinting at the screen* I don’t see the wrinkles…
Susi: Look at the right hand- her wrist looks awful!
Caroline: O_O you’re right. That’s not a 17 year’s old arm. o_O *sigh*
Susi’s Selection:
Susi: The first time i saw this Kerrelyn Sparks cover I thought it was a fake. Seriously, it’s so badly done I’m nearly speechless. So let’s ignore the bad photoshopping and concentrate on the arrangement: it looks like she will fall down any minute and the author name is so hard to read because of the nearly same color used for the shine of the discoball. This cover looks like it was done while someone was completely wasted. Or perhaps a ten year old? No idea how they sold this book at all.
The cover of the Christine Feehan cover screams 80s to me but it’s actually from 1999. Who thought it would be good to make it look like a mix of a bad Dracula movie and a bodice-ripper? It’s just too old-fashioned for my taste- I even don’t like the guy cuz he looks so slimey. Just ewww!
The Lynn Viehl cover is actually not that bad BUT I really don’t like the red-blue contrast. I think both would work on their own but together this cover just seems to be too much. The background with the woman is really nicely balanced. I actually like how she poses and her eyes have a nice focus. But then you have the red “eyecatcher”. It just makes the cover way too overladden. The flower and the swirly around the font are way too much and steal the attention of the rather good looking background. Would have liked it more with less.
The Melissa de la Cruz cover makes so much wrong. I think the model really would work on a Young Adult cover- she fits the vampire style for the young with her light skin and red lips. I like that her hair is blond- makes her look more fragile. BUT why is she so blurry? Does this tell us that the book will make us feel like being drunk or wasted? And I HATE the fonts used for “The Immortals”. Makes me think of notes bf leaves me and I’m never sure what they say. Also I don’t like the mix of lace and blotches- it’s just weird. I don’t like it. And for all those who read this books: are there ravens in this books?
First thought I had when I looked at the anthology cover: does she feel sick or does she have an orgasm in a thunderstorm? But at least her lipstick looks good. *snort* What happened to her hair? Is it wet or dirty? I’m actually wrinkling my nose right now. Pah! The red font and the swirly thingies are okay but why are the author names so white and plain? It looks like they added it in an afterthought: surprise, we have to fit author names on this cover- how unusual. *shake head*
Caroline: LMAO ok so the French cover for the Kerrelyn cover sucked but the German cover is WAY worse. OMG that were they thinking? Even if I forget the bad photoshopping (and it is very difficult to forget) it makes me wonder what is this book about? A stripper playing Policewoman at a bar mitzvah? The creepy gray guy look like an Anne Rice Vampire. But back to the woman…I really don’t get why she’s dancing Disco music with handcuffs. O_o I’m not sure I wanna know why lol.
The Christine Feehan cover really looks like a 80’s romance novel. i can’t believe they did that in 1999 O_o. It’s so cheesy and cliché. OMG the vampire wannabe cape and bats flying in the background. Talking about the background…that castle looks like it’s been taken from Dracula or Frankenstein. *sigh* And you’re right Susi that guy is not very appealing. Mehhh.
The Cover for Darkyn isn’t that bad. I find that I like the model. i don’t know if it’s her face of the pose but it makes her look ‘otherwordly’. You can see mischief in her eyes. But you’re right the rest on the cover ruins it. I don’t mind the colors but the flower-thingies are just too much.
The Immortals cover is weird. Indeed I thought my vision has blurred or something. I’m not sure why she’s blurred, are they trying to keep our attention on the ‘front’, being the ugly black mass at the bottom? Nice a raven. As you said…is there a raven in the story? I really don’t find this cover inspiring. I would certainly not pick it up to check the blurb.
LOL the anthology cover is pretty bad. I, too, kept fixating on her hair. It really looks like she hasn’t bathed in a long time. And I hate when people have hair all over their face, it makes me want to push it back. The gothic font doesn’t help make this cover looks less heavy. The cover doesn’t say much about the anthology and is pretty bleehhh IMO.
I think the German covers are pretty ugly. I’m sad to say that I think you won this time Susi. Germany really has the nastiest vampire covers. *sigh*
Susi: Not sure if I should be happy about winning. LOL Yay Germany, WTG!
So? Which country has the worst vampire covers huh?
Do you agree with us or do you actually LIKE any of these? (I promise we won’t throw rocks *evil grin*…much)
Any particularly nasty vampire cover we should know about? (yes share the love)
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Oh Girls, you manage to do it every time! 🙂 How you manage to unearth such horrible covers is beyond me (but what I can't really believe is that these covers are real and not some fan-made photoshop creations!!). Oh my god the Kerrely Sparks German cover made me blink so much, it is horrible! and poor Kerrelyn her French cover is creepy! That guy freaks me out *shudders*
The only cover which I can say is so-so is the Immortals cover, like the girl and the contrast between her blond hair-white skin and bloood red lips, but still, this cover looks unfinished too a bit thrown together.
Though it is quite close to a tie, I have to say that IMO thanks to the first 2 horrible covers Germany wins the Ugly Covers Round this time!
@Stella LMAO you know the worst part is that for every cover I found…Susi had 4 of them. You wouldn't believe the number of horrid covers she can find.
As if it, it took me 3 hours to find 4 of them LOL
Seriously for once I'm glad Germany is winning in this battle. LOL
*need eyebleach to erase creepy guy image from her mind*
The German ones are horrible. Especially the vampire one.
I am going with France, cos yes omg 80s Feehan, but still not bad, orgasm girl is weird but not bad. But yes the Sparks cover should be destroyed.
Ok so why did France loose, creepy Sparks guy. Boring Evernight..and back to creepy Sparks guy 😉
@Estella *hands the eyebleach* I'd like to know who buys a book based on any of these covers lol
@Blodeuedd LOL I can't get his face of my mind. Creepy creepy *shudders*
Damn I should have known he'd make me loose the fight. lol But I thought the disco vampire would balanced it out 😉
OK. I adore Kerrelyn Sparks' books, but that first cover? Scary, scary, scary. Blah!
@Stella It's a talent! LOL One I could live without =P
@pattepoilue *sticke out tongue*
@Estella Yep indeed.
@Blodeuedd I will go with you. LOL
@Chelsea B. Hey the German one is even worse. LOL
@Chelsea B. I've never read her book but it's even sadder if the book is good! Poor book with such bad covers. *sigh* Since you've read it…is there a crazy looking vampire in it?
I think the German covers are worse but not by much. There is so much FAIL going on with those covers I can't stand it. Maybe ebooks were invented so we don't have to look at those horrid covers. Seriously.
Stacie
GeishasMom73 on twitter
@GeishasMom73 So much fail indeed. *sigh* Now we just need ebook in France and we'll be spared the uglies.
It's so sad, because covers are soooo important for me. I could stare for hours at my shelves. I do'nt want books I'll want to hide coz they are Fugly!!
Got to feel bad for Kerrelyn Sparks. Damn ugly covers. Germany wins — or loses.
marypres@gmail.com
I vote for the French ones for the sheer WTH-ness of them. The German ones are more blah than WTH.
Whatever Kerrelyn Sparks did to anger the European cover gurus, She Has Paid Enough! It’s time to Stop the Madness.
After seeing this, I’m surprised anyone in France or Germany reads vampire books. Y’all outdid yourselves in awful this time. The Sparks covers are the worst of both lots. I’m calling this one a tie. An ugly, ugly tie.
@Marybelle Believe me we felt bad about her covers too. :/
@Sheree LOL damn I was sure Susi would win that one 😉 Sucky sucky covers!!
@LSUReader I have no idea why she's getting such horrid covers. I wonder if it's the same in other countries
I wonder the same everyday! But to be honest I've never seen most of these covers in the store. Now they are starting to promote a new 'line' of Vampire books the 'Bit-Lit' which is getting pretty covers.
Don't worry Caroline, In my country they put Jessica's Guide to Dating on the Dark Side as "How to get rid of a vampire in love". X_X I think that they saw the french title and liked LOL But at the least they kept the original cover XD
@-petit Ah! Looks like foreign publishers do like this title better than the original =P lol. At least in Brasil they have the good sense of keeping the pretty cover *sigh*
The only one that I really like is the Lynn Viehl's cover, well Cristine Feehan's isn't too bad but the others are horrible and so fake looking. I know I wouldn't even take a second glance at those covers
@BLHmistress Sadly this is the problem, I wouldn't pick these books out in a bookstore. Not without knowing exactly what the book is about first.
Wow. And I always thought the UF covers in the US were bad……Germany just took it to a-whole-nother level.
@Stacie LOL yep that could be. But I still rather have some pretties in my shelf. 😉
@marybelle Yeah nothing I'm proud of, this time =D
@Sheree YAY finally someone is dooming FRance *G*
@LSUReader Good question! She doesn't seem to get lucky here. But I can admit they will rerelease her books in Germany sometime this year with nicer covers.
@petit And we Germans have that title too btw. LOL
@BLHmistress Yeah the author's can be lucky I read in English and still buy their books. LOL
@draconismoi Yes we are awesome at making WTF even worse. LOL
Hi, I know I'm to late for comment here 😛
But just wanna said, I feel so ashamed, embarassed and really2 pissed off, when I look at Angel's Blood Indonesian cover (yep, I'm from Indonesia)
The cover really awful, and they make Raphael (the hero) look awful too, and then many people that never read Guild Hunter before, mistake him as "vampire"! (while he is an archangel)
You can look the cover at my review here : http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/100839848
Now, I'll go crying *sobs*
@Ren Ohhhh Ren, Wow…O_O Well he doesn't look like Raphael for me either lol but I've seen worse. *sigh* It's sad when all I have to say to defend the cover is that there's worse LOL
Thank you for the link, I had no idea about this cover.
*hug* Welcome to the Publishers-in-my-country-have-no-taste Club.
@Ren Wow, that's not Raphael at all. Where is he hiding his wings? Look at the German covers and believe me I know your pain!
Well, you will more surprised when you know about this (and Susi, it's also answer your question at Goodreads 😉 ) :
http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/100839337
I know that people think my review is funny, some people is agree with me, because the cover is really2 FUGLY.
I don't try to black campaign at my review, and tell people not to buy it. But I'd read Dark Lover before, and I wait for the translated version for eternity. Guess what my reaction when I know about that cover 🙁
For Angel's Blood, lucky I have the original , so I don't waste my money to buy the translated edition. Really, that cover make me have a nightmare. When I read Archangel's Consort, I imagine Raphael look alike the pale guy at that cover. I need brainwashing after this 😛