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Romance and Me: Virgin or Slut?
Filed in Romance and Me , The Latin Lover Posted on May 18, 2011 @ 3:32 pm
17 comments
Hey Everyone!
Before you faint in shock let me explain to you the reasoning behind today’s topic.
In most historical romances the heroine is an inexperienced, innocent virgin maid, whose sensuality and passions are awakened by the sheet acrobat hero who’s more than talented in the ways of lovemaking.
99% of historical romance heroines are virgins, untouched girls whose first sexual encounter is with the hero who is teaching them how to unravel their hidden passions.
However lately I noticed that more and more novels dare to deviate from the norm and feature heroines who aren’t virgins anymore (the widow heroines are becoming quite a big trend right now).
But have you ever come across a historical romance where the man was a virgin or quite awkward in the ways of love and it was the heroine who taught him?
There is only one novel which comes to my mind Diana Gabaldon’s Outlander series, where Claire initiates a virgin Jamie, but other than that I have to say I haven’t come across any other untried, inexperienced heroes who are to be awakened to sexuality by the femme fatale seductress heroine.
Why do you think this trend still exists?
Do we still secretly/subconsciously believe in the existence of a double standard: that heroes can (and even have to) have a lot of sexual experience, and if they have that is certainly a bonus, making them great lovers, however if it is a woman who knows her way on how to enjoy life and intimacy then she is a loose woman, a slut?
And you personally, do you prefer to read about innocent heroines? Why or why not? Tell me, I can’t wait to hear your thoughts! 😉
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Love, love, LOVE Jaime and Claire! Outlander is one of my all time favorite books, and I love that Claire deflowered Jaime. I don't read a lot of historical, so I don't really have any insight into your question. Just felt I should comment about my love for Outlander 🙂
Monica Burns recently released a historical romance called "Pleasure Me" where the heroine was a courtesan and therefore quite experienced, and the hero, who is more than 10 years younger, is a virgin. I found the book and its idea very nice! It was something different and that is good.
I haven't read many historical romance books, but it's true that in all of them the man was the experienced one.
Maybe I'm wrong, but I think that the reason is that in the past the women had less freedom than we have nowadays, so is common for them to be virgins…
I'm not too sure, but that's what I think. This is one of the reasons why most of the times I prefer contemporary romance: the girls (some of the times, not always) have some previous experience, and that is very real to me.
Regarding your question: I absolutely don't think that the women who had sex before knowing the hero are sluts (nor in historical nor in contemporary) and I really enjoy reading about non inocent heroines 😀
Sorry for the bad english, I'm not too fluent at writing 😀
I love the "Outlander Series" and after that that first question it was the first, book that popped in my head,,I have only read the 1st 3,,but the ones I read,,I have loved,,there just real exhausting,,and huge..but neways..
;;;;I like my heroin depending on the hero,,,the female,,to fit the male,,,cause if you do remember Claire might have instigated with Jaime but he was a quick learner,,lol
But,,yeah,,,to me its gonna be the male….but I think the reason alot of the story lines fall with the woman being all innocent..cause I think deep down, inside,,us being women,,thats the perfect fantasy,,,but Have you read any of J.R. Ward's Fallen Angel Series..? yet,,Covet? #1 that female was far from pure,,,and still got a happy ending,,
hmm,,that was an interesting topic,,
Jennifer
I am probably one of the few people in the romance world who has not yet read Outlander. I do read historical romance though and I have to say the trend is a strong one. Usually the hero is the experienced one that has to deflower his virgin bride. One book that comes to mind is Gorgeous as Sin by Susan Johnson where the leading female actually writes erotica in her spare time so she does know a little about a sexual life style. But she is a widow so she has already been deflowered and her hero still does show her some erotic bedroom skills. I don't think women should be considered a slut for sleeping with other people before they sleep with their hero. I think overall historical romance just tries to take that one avenue of virgin heroines.
Jamie + Claire! WOO-HOO!
I remember him saying to Claire "I said I was a virgin, not a monk" because she's surprised he can kiss so well, lol.
I love them. And I laughed when he was worried by Claire's orgasmic screaming 🙂
I haven't read "Outlander" either even though I have the book. One of these days….
"Pleasure Me" has a virgin hero due to a deformity and "When the Duke Returns" has one, too, although his is a personal decision after seeing the ravages of STDs. Still, for the most part, unless there's a really good reason for the virgin status, heroes are generally not virgins. Since historically women had to be virgins until marriage (due to lack of paternity tests), I do expect most heroines in historicals to be virgins, not totally ignorant perhaps but virgins.
As for the non-virginal heroines, they're interesting and all, but unless there's some sort of birth control, I'm expecting a unexpected pregnancy at some point in the book.
In historical settings, I don't mind the virgin heroine as long as they are well-rounded characters and not simpering fools.
I think the guy to be strong, but find some of the real alpha male characters that crop up a little too much.
I guess overall, I'm saying that I like something real. If it's too over the top one way or the other it annoys me. A nice, believable middle ground is the way to go, I think.
Great post, Stella! 😀
I'm not read Outlander yet too *LOL* , but I have read books with virgin hero before, mostly in paranormal genre. I think it's hot to see, even the hero so alpha, it's woman that taught him about sexual experience 🙂
I disagree if women that have so many sexual experienced called slut, while it's fine for men to do that. Talk about gender gap here. I don't think she slut or what, just proud of her because she confident with her sexuality. And I don't mind to read about widowed women, innocent women or anything. For me, I always search the attraction between the character, their feeling to each other. Sex scene and sexual experience just bonus 🙂
I, being a historical prude and all do not like an experienced heroine. If she had been around that lot she would have no chance at a good marriage and she would have been shunned. So yes I do want my virgin heroine I guess.
I get so bad sometimes, not even a big fan when the couple have sex before they have married. I just keep on thinking "aha, ok so you are ruined now, he can just run away and laugh." But then they get married anyway, duh. How did I ever become such a historical prude, lol
First of all, sorry if my question was a bit ambiguous: I, personally in no way think that a heroine who isn't a virgin is a slut, I just tried to convey the sharp opposites and the usual opinion of society back in those eras of historical fiction.
BUT just as Blodeuedd, can't really say why, I prefer to read about an innocent heroine and have the hero teach her. Somehow I find it viril if a man knows how to handle a woman's pleasure. But of course after the initiation I love it when the heroine is a passionate woman 🙂
Thank you Sheree for the recommendations, will check trhem out! And yes, great point, that society had not just simply had the expectation but it was a clear obligation for women to stay virgins until marriage. It just ruffles my feminist feathers that men were never required to do the same. grr. Equality *humph*
And to all of you who haven't read Outlander yet: DO!! It is one of the most brilliant books, it would definitely be in my bag if I were to live on a desert island. One of my favourite books of all times! And Jamie is the ideal man for so many reasons *dreamy sighs* 😀
I tend to read more paranormal and contemporary romances than historical, but I'm definitely in the "bring on the experienced heroines" camp. It's not that I mind virgin (or not virgin, but inexperienced) heroines, but I think they're disproportionately represented in romance. There's more of a justification for that in a historical, when the mores of the time dictated that women SHOULD be virgins until they're married, but when you're reading a contemporary it seems unrealistic. I read one series of paranormal, contemporary romances where EVERY SINGLE HEROINE was a virgin. I think the overabundance of virgins in romance perpetuates the idea that a woman who is sexually experienced much be a slut.
Wonderfully put Beth, I completely agree! And again agree that in historicals there is some reasoning, justification fot having a virgin heroine, but forcing the heroine to be chaste in contemporary romances.. sure it can happen, but as you aaid if all the heroines in a series were virgins, I would find that improbable and unrealistic with today's society and traditions.
In contemporary romance, almost no one is a virgin. (I guess I'm not reading the same books Beth is.) When we’re talking about historical romance, many different standards come into play that don’t hold true for modern times. There are significant variations in roles, expectations, and opportunities for women compared to men. Age is a factor. Often, the heroine is 18-22 years old, and the hero is around a decade older. Economics also plays a role. Many of the characters we read about are from a relatively small, well-to-do subset of society where a primary marriage objective is to reproduce and ensure continuation of the family.
One of the things that I do find odd is the near-absence of personal or religious morality as a reason to not have sex, in either historical or contemporary romance. Thanks for a thought-provoking post.
This is such an interesting question (or series of questions). I recently read a short story with the virgin male and experienced female. It was historical but I can't remember the time period. The story was pretty forgettable except for the virgin male 🙂 It has always bothered me in books and in life that an experienced woman is seen as loose but a man is just experiencing life.
I think the trend still exists because readers aren't demanding different. Because not enough authors are pushy that boundary. Becuase not enough publishers are asking for something different.
I think society isn't ready to get rid of the double standard. I do think that more people are starting to understand that the standard is wrong and unfair but it is going to take time to erase.
I know it sounds like I am saying everyone should have equal opportunity sex. Nope. I am saying that at some point the sexual experimenting crosses the line from a little pratice to being slutty. That goes for both women and men. And there is nothing worse than a manwhore!
As far as what I prefer to read, it all depends. I think that the author needs to make the choice fit the character and the story. And sometimes by writing against character type can make the story that much stronger. I read a book once with a widow who had loved her husband and still mourned his death. The hero made all sorts of assumptions based on those facts alone. It turned out she was still a virgin. It was great twist!
I am looking forward to reading everyone else's thoughts. This is such an interesting topic.
Ah, yes, the virgin widow… I'm not sure what to think about that one. Mary Balogh had one in one of her books and the reason was sound: the deceased hubby was gay and he was more her friend and mentor than husband. Still…
Also, how often or how many partners would earn someone the label "slut"? More than three sex partners? In one day? At the same time? This is a hard one to pin down, I think.
The other problem I have with all the manwhores in historicals is that they would be carrying whatever STDs prevalent among the populace, as it were. I don't just mean syphilis but HPV, herpes and others that don't present symptoms for a long, long time. Of course, this is an issue for contemp manwhores, too, but condoms do lessen some STDs. Yes, sometimes I wonder why I read romances, too….
I always thought that most heroines in historical romances were inexperienced because it represented the time. Many women most likely did remain virgins until marriage (can we really be sure though?).I actually don't mind the virgin heroines because they're usually at an sge that some women are still virgins (16-20). And wasn't it a tradition in more affluent families for the father to take his son out to 'have his first woman' when he came of age? The experienced heroine is sexy, as seen in Outlander, I would hardly say she's a slut, just before her time. The more authors write about this not so innocent heroine, the more we'll accept her, I think.