Book Lovers for the Prevention of Supporting Character Neglect: The Potterverse

Filed in Book Lover for the Prevention of Supporting Character Neglect , Draconismoi , Fantasy , featured , J.K Rowling Posted on August 14, 2013 @ 12:00 pm 6 comments

Luna LovegoodTime again for more Book Lovers for the Prevention of Supporting Character Neglect! Where Book Lovers from across the world stand in solidarity for the supporting cast. Those individuals that make the story and keep us coming back even when the protagonist needs a good smack (cough Harry Potter cough). Hear our anthem! Because everyone deserves top billing now and then.

As I just-so-happened to mention, certain protagonists tend to be extremely smackable, and all-around unlikeable. Which is exactly why we’re diving back into The Potterverse. Because really, who read Harry Potter for, well, Harry Potter? Nobody, that’s who.

Marlene: Have you started drinking early? Do you really want to dive into the Potterverse sober? I can, but it’s painful. Really. Let me start.

Jackie: Go ahead. That was too long ago for specifics for me.

Marlene: The butcher’s bill at the last battle was much too high. To begin with. And everyone with a slight tinge of grey died. Just to make things easier for that awful epilogue. Tonks or Lupin, but not both. Hermione is WAY too smart for Ron Weasley. He’ll cheat. I want the story of their divorce, to be perfectly honest.

Stella: OMG SNAPE DIES???? O_O Yep, I haven’t read/seen the 7th, so I didn’t know much about the end. Except the Ron and Hermione thing.

Cass: No worries Stella, you didn’t miss much. Angst, angst, angst. Evil dies. Everyone gets laid. The end. Did anybody watch Harry Potter and the 10 years Later? Hermione and Harry totally have an affair.

Amanda: Nah Victor Krum comes back to reignite his love with Hermione.

Cass: Holy shit does the actually happen? I only watched the first episode and got bored because Ginny was all baby-fever Susie-homemaker. Boring! Maybe I’ll go back and watch the rest….

Amanda: You mean it’s REAL!?! I need to go watch right now!

Marlene: (Ahem) Or Snape should have lived. He was a potions master, for chrissakes. He knew better. But Rowling didn’t want to really deal with the aftermath of anyone with any slight black marks in her bright new world. And the Deathly Hallows book was at least 100 pages too long.

Snape“Have you not understood me? It was only Dumbledore’s protection that was keeping me out of Azkaban! Do you disagree that murdering his favorite student might have turned him against me? But there was more to it than that. I should remind you that when Potter first arrived at Hogwarts there were still many stories circulating about him, rumors that he himself was a great Dark wizard, which was how he had survived the Dark Lord’s attack. Indeed, many of the Dark Lords old followers thought Potter might be a standard around which we could all rally once more. I was curious, I admit it, and not at all inclined to murder him the moment he set fool in the castle.

“Of course, it became apparent to me very quickly that he had no extraordinary talent at all. He has fought his way out of a number of tight corners by a simple combination of sheer luck and more talented friends. He is mediocre to the last degree, though as obnoxious and self-satisfied as was his father before him. I have done my utmost to have him thrown out of Hogwarts, where I believe he scarcely belongs, but kill him, or allow him to be killed in front of me? I would have been a fool to risk it with Dumbledore close at hand.”

“And through all this we are supposed to believe Dumbledore has never suspected you?” asked Bellatrix. “He has no idea of your true allegiance, he trusts you implicitly still?”

“I have played my part well,” said Snape. “And you overlook Dumbledore’s greatest weakness: He has to believe the best of people….”

Cass: Agreed. Snape was always my favorite teacher. Right from the beginning, when he vocalized exactly what suspected about Harry. That he and all his little friends were morons.

“You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of potionmaking,” he began. […] I don’t expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses … I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, even stopper death — if you aren’t as big a bunch of dunderheads as I usually have to teach.”

luna-the-lionCass: Nonetheless, I don’t think a Snape-centric story would be that interesting. Unless it was his snarky-spy-journals. I’d rather read about Luna Lovegood, Intrepid Girl Reporter and Explorer! On the ground reporting in a warzone or godforsaken magical jungle – while completely stoned off her ass.
“Of course not,” said Hermione scathingly, before Harry could answer. “The Quibbler‘s rubbish, everyone knows that.”
“Excuse me,” said Luna; her voice had suddenly lost its dreamy quality. “My father’s the editor.”
“I – oh,” said Hermione, looking embarrassed. “Well … it’s got some interesting … I mean, it’s quite …”
“I’ll have it back, thank you,” said Luna coldly, and leaning forwards she snatched it out of Harry’s hands. Riffling through it to page fifty-seven, she turned it resolutely upside-down again and disappeared behind it, just as the compartment door opened for the third time.
“D’ you mind not offending the only people who believe me?” Harry asked Hermione as they made their way into class.
“Oh, for heaven’s sake, Harry, you can do better than her,” said Hermione. “Ginny’s told me all about her, apparently she’ll only believe in things as long as there’s no proof at all. Well, I wouldn’t respect anything else from someone whose father runs The Quibbler.”
Cass: Harry was such an ass, I almost forgot how much I disliked Hermione. Actually the whole central trio got on my nerves. But Luna? Luna was great fun at a party!
“I don’t think you should be an Auror, Harry,” said Luna unexpectedly. Everybody looked at her.
“The Aurors are part of the Rotfang Conspiracy, I thought everyone knew that. They’re working to bring down the Ministry of Magic from within using a combination of Dark Magic and gum disease.”
Neville LongbottomMarlene: Anything written from Luna’s perspective at any time would be awesome. Or possibly Neville’s. I kind of wonder what poor Albus Severus’ life was like at Hogwarts with a name like Albus Severus Potter trailing around behind him. Or in front of him as the case might be. Poor bugger.
‘… the person who has the only chance of conquering Lord Voldemort for good was born at the end of July, nearly sixteen years ago. This boy would be born to parents who had already defied Voldemort three times.’
Harry felt as though something was closing in upon him. His breathing seemed difficult again. ‘It means – me?’
Dumbledore surveyed him for a moment through his glasses. ‘The odd thing is, Harry,’ he said softly, ‘that it may not have meant you at all. Sybil’s prophecy could have applied to two wizard boys, born at the end of July that year, both of whom had parents in the Order of the Phoenix, both sets of parents having narrowly escaped Voldemort three times. One, of course was you. The other was Neville Longbottom.’
Cass: Hah! Yeah. Suck it Potter. Neville was always more interesting. And ugh, those NAMES. Those poor children.
The Names
What do you all think? Would the Potterverse be more fun from Luna’s point of view? Do we need the shades of grey (snicker) provided from Snape’s perspective? Should Harry have been reported to child services for those horrific names? Sound off in the comments below!

About Draconismoi


Draconismoi is a Legal Aid Attorney out on the frozen tundra. After two weeks of -30F, she started telling people she moved to Alaska because she loves the indoors. Right now you'll find her curled up under all the blankets she owns, surrounded by a pile of books. Every so often she emerges from her cave (when there is food) and wonders how she'll justify prolonging this behavior once the temperature rises and the sun returns.

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6 Comments

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  • aurian August 14, 2013 at 1:21 pm

    I enjoyed the first 4 books, those were fun, then it got depressing. Still. I don’t agree with your Harry dislike. He did his best after all. I did like Neville and Luna though, and Ron’s older brothers. Except Percy.
    I confess, I read a fan fic of book 7 before the real book 7 was published, thinking it was the real one. And I liked that one better.

    • Draconismoi August 14, 2013 at 1:42 pm

      I never hated Harry in the first four books (which I did enjoy), but book 5? Holy shit did I want to punch him in the face. And from that point on he never got any better.

      Which is probably why I got so attached to Luna. She became more prominent around the time Harry started turning into a highly smackable shit.

      To be fair, this is par for the course for me on long-running series. Hated Buffy in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Hate Sookie in the Southern Vampire Mysteries/True Blood….

      Well, you get the idea.

    • Marlene August 14, 2013 at 3:23 pm

      I’m with you, Aurian. I like a LOT of the fanfic better. Especially everything that ignores the epilog.
      I’d love to know where that fanfic book 7 is?

      • aurian August 14, 2013 at 3:37 pm

        If you send me an email, I can look in my gigantic ebook collection if I still have it …

      • Draconismoi August 14, 2013 at 3:38 pm

        ….

        Harry Potter fanfic is not a safe place to just blindly dive into. As I learned the hard way. I’m still traumatized by some of the things I stumbled on. It was pretty much my first AND last foray into the fanfic world.

        • aurian August 14, 2013 at 3:40 pm

          Lol talk about being traumatized. I once borrowed a stack of comics, called Suske and Wiske, and in between the regular ones, was a porn version. Let me tell you, as a young teen you are not prepared for that.

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