As discerning readers have no doubt noticed….This blog has been taken over by dragons!
This really shouldn’t come as a shock. Dragons are magnificent and powerful creatures. They range from brilliant, duplicitous, magic-wielding immortals – to the less-strategically inclined, but equally deadly, fire-breathing, poison-spewing, feral winged-creatures terrorizing all who dare to enter their territory.
Even as we speak, they are shoring up their defenses and laying in siege weaponry. Soon the dragons shall spread throughout the internet and into your computer.
THEY CANNOT BE STOPPED. (Plus, who would even want to try? Only soulless monsters who have to appreciation for literature, art, beauty, and the distinct pleasure of having one’s head still attached to one’s body.)
Dragons can, however, be placated. Through copious amounts of praise and treasure. Book Lovers Inc. has thus begun honoring our draconic overlords through Dragon Day (in which there has been much praise, and the promise of treasure). This shall be the first of many such days, and it is up to you, dear readers, to determine which variety of dragon deserves the next round of
The Book Lovers have submitted suggestions, but it is you who will pick which draconic realm this Dragon Lover shall enter next. Choose wisely, because if you are interested only in adding to my list of Draconic Unmentionables, there shall be FIRE AND BLOOD.
Marlene numbers herself amongst those with tragic self-destructive streaks, and has proffered the, in her words, “low-brow” Playing with Fire by Katie MacAlister. Which is clearly filled with tropes I loathe. Such as “true-mates.” I am suspicious that it will spend far more pages analyzing the chafing issues one encounters with a scaly penis, than the implication that this asshole goes around making out with women just to see if they spontaneously combust.
Amanda, being a true fan of Robin Hobb’s Dragon Keeper, is (in a duplicitous and distinctly dragon-like fashion), attempting to split the porn vote by recommending Dragon Actually by G. A. Aiken. Wherein an entire country apparently fails to educate ranking officers about their greatest enemy’s ability to magically shape-shift – and all it takes is a good deep dragon dicking to turn a patriot against the homeland she’s fought and bled for.
Everyone else in the world thinks dragon porn begins and ends with Thea Harrison’s Dragon Bound. Many Book Lovers purport that this is my gateway paranormal romance book. Will it succeed where so many others failed? Bearing in mind that dragons do not justify kidnapping, coercion, sexual assault, domestic violence, stalking, or the wonders of Stokholm Syndrome, you can color me skeptical. Also, see below:
Contrast these allegedly erotic offerings with the gender-bending adventures of Allison Goodman’s Eon/Eona training to become the world’s only link to a dragon’s energy, or an entire magical society rising up against a recruiter (seriously, shittiest job ever) who has been randomly prophesied to become The Last DragonSlayer! Is PNR even in the running? REALLY?
And we cannot fail to properly acknowledge the book-loving wyvern who will undoubtably steal the show in The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland in the Ship of Her Own Creation. Book Loving transcends species! Do you think horny knights will spend any time encouraging literacy in young people? A vote for Cathrynne Valente is a vote for the children. Think of the children!
Alternately, we can go the anthology route, and spend time with over a dozen different dragons in The Dragon Book.
I have admittedly pre-judged all of these books based on their covers, blurbs, or random spoilers seen on Goodreads. I am fully prepared to hate a book I expected to love, or to be disappointed that dragons were not utilized to their fullest glorious extent. I am, however, equally ready to cleanse my library of any obscene defilement of dragons with fire, sow the ashes with salt, and bury them on sanctified ground.
So as Dragon Day draws to a close, look to your Dragon Futures, and VOTE! Explain your vote in the comments. Do you truly believe dragons could be a gateway drug into the wide world of romance? Are you a dragon afficionado interested in how to best develop dragon appreciation in young people? Are you a sociopath who feeds off the pain and suffering of book reviewers? Inquiring minds want to know!
In honor of Dragon Day, and the hopes of having similar days in the future, we have TWO dragon-themed giveaways. There are THREE copies of A Natural History of Dragons available, courtesy of Tor, for US/CAN readers.
BLI is simultaneously offering a copy each of A Natural History of Dragons and Seraphina – open internationally.
All you have to do to enter is leave a comment explaining which dragon book you voted for me to review in the poll, and why. (Seriously, I want to know. Are you sadists hell bent on tormenting me? Or are you fellow dragon aficionados intent on expanding my dragon horizons?)
(You can read our full giveaway policy here)
Please be sure to include a valid email address in the comment form (need not be in the actual body of the comment) AND tell is if you are international or US/Canadian AND mention which book you want. I know, I know, it’s a lot of work. But these are DRAGONS people. Completely and utterly worth the extra effort.
Giveaway ends on Saturday, June 29th, 2013; we will announce the winner on Sunday.
If you don’t see the poll below, follow the link and vote here.